This was so helpful! I’ve always struggled with granting myself time to rest. The older I get, the worse it becomes as I feel like “time is running out” to accomplish what I want to accomplish.
I find I have to rest more as I've been recovering from medical procedures. Back ablation...not too much downtime. Migraines, bad. That rest time, you can't really do anything at all, it's just pain. Oral surgery I just had, major surgery. Lots of downtime. Just happened last week. Can't speak yet. Tired. Pain. But I can work a little at a time. Then I have to stop. The scary part when stopping, is: you face all the stuff you put off when you're working. Things that are personal, that you don't want to face. Like my Dad's declining health. Our relationship. Things in my life that I've pushed away because I don't want to think about them. You face yourself, your life. It's a lot of soul searching. But it's also a lot of discovery. Coming to terms. Finding peace. Or closure of some sort...even if it's not ideal. It gives time for creativity later you never thought about. Things that come up in your writing like second nature. It's very hard, very quiet, and also very enlightening. Through illness and pain, I found the strength to face myself.
a constant friction in my life. Not sure I will ever feel caught up. Ever.
I'm definitely slower at age 60, and I attempt to do nothing or at least nap or read.
But the "time running out" concern hits harder for me: I have MS and recent health status changes (not for the better) are reminders of what I stand to lose if I *don't* rest. It's not just opportunities, it's my ability to read/speak/walk etc. Not to be dramatic, but I've already lived with enough irreversible brain damage... I really don't need any more holes in my head! So it's not just aging, but disease progression, and that absolutely feeds the sense that time *is* running out, because in my case, there's a prognosis involved.
Especially hard because I don't look sick or disabled to others, so even those who know these things about me forget, so I have to tell them No all the time. But I have to. And that sucks.
This was so helpful! I’ve always struggled with granting myself time to rest. The older I get, the worse it becomes as I feel like “time is running out” to accomplish what I want to accomplish.
Yea, me too. I think I even knew it, but knowing something and accepting it are two different things. I think I'm still in the accepting stage.
I find I have to rest more as I've been recovering from medical procedures. Back ablation...not too much downtime. Migraines, bad. That rest time, you can't really do anything at all, it's just pain. Oral surgery I just had, major surgery. Lots of downtime. Just happened last week. Can't speak yet. Tired. Pain. But I can work a little at a time. Then I have to stop. The scary part when stopping, is: you face all the stuff you put off when you're working. Things that are personal, that you don't want to face. Like my Dad's declining health. Our relationship. Things in my life that I've pushed away because I don't want to think about them. You face yourself, your life. It's a lot of soul searching. But it's also a lot of discovery. Coming to terms. Finding peace. Or closure of some sort...even if it's not ideal. It gives time for creativity later you never thought about. Things that come up in your writing like second nature. It's very hard, very quiet, and also very enlightening. Through illness and pain, I found the strength to face myself.
a constant friction in my life. Not sure I will ever feel caught up. Ever.
I'm definitely slower at age 60, and I attempt to do nothing or at least nap or read.
But the "time running out" concern hits harder for me: I have MS and recent health status changes (not for the better) are reminders of what I stand to lose if I *don't* rest. It's not just opportunities, it's my ability to read/speak/walk etc. Not to be dramatic, but I've already lived with enough irreversible brain damage... I really don't need any more holes in my head! So it's not just aging, but disease progression, and that absolutely feeds the sense that time *is* running out, because in my case, there's a prognosis involved.
Especially hard because I don't look sick or disabled to others, so even those who know these things about me forget, so I have to tell them No all the time. But I have to. And that sucks.
I lived in Italy for two years. My fav expression: “Il dolcente di fare niente.”
The sweetness of doing nothing.
Preferably with a cappucino and a book.